Hello Everyone! It’’s been a WILD two years. Allow me to (re)introduce myself. If you follow me on social media this may all be old news in which case I just want to say Hello, Again and that my 2022 mission is just to SHOW UP for myself and my community. I’m back! If you are just meeting this post will tell you who I am and what my purpose is. To break up the text you will see some of my work I have produced over the years.
Self Portrait
I picked up the camera at a young age thanks to my dad being a photographer. In 1996 you could find me skipping lunch in high school to go to the darkroom. I was so obsessed that upon gradation I made a my own darkroom in my first apartment. I miss those days of being locked under the red light in a mediative state as I patiently and precisely developed my work. It was a way to be completely in the moment.
It was a serious hobby for me for quite a few years. By the early 2000s I had gone digital and was working as a freelance photographer getting hired by publications, companies, government agencies and other photographers as a second shooter for weddings. This had become my career but I was still finding my voice as a photographer.
In 2008 I decided to open my own photography company. In the beginning I photographed a bit of everything but within a few years I found what I photographed and what I passionately photographed. I fell in love with empowering and intimate portraiture work. Most of my work was becoming either fashion inspired portraiture or boudoir. I was fascinated by the transformation that occurs internally with clients. I began to see the art of portraiture as a ritual.
In 2013 earned a degree in cultural anthropology, my focus of study was on sex and death rituals. Rituals at their core are about transformation. The ritual itself is a liminal state that allows the transformation to occur. The photoshoot IS the liminal state. This understanding changed me as a photographer and from then on that idea was the framework for how I approached all my sessions.
Thinking of all the times a professional photographer is hired I saw the pattern of it being during life’s milestones where change is happening. Engagements, weddings (a ritual itself), maternity , births, one year old, senior portraits… these are all times of transformation and I believe photography plays an important part in it. It allows us to see ourselves outside of ourselves and it allows us to have agency (with the right photographer) over how we wish to see ourselves and how we want others to view us. There is immense power there.
It’s an embodied experience, a ritual that can transform how one perceives themselves. We all know the power of a photoshoot. We all have witnessed it in our clients. I want to help us all understand it better. Particularly interesting to me was how the portrait experience intersected with body image so I began to study that and became certified as an Embody Love Facilitator. Another pattern I saw was how I often the subject of sex came up in my boudoir sessions. The more clothes they shed, the more open they became often sharing their deepest secrets with me. I was already beginning to study sex more in depth in order to help hold that space when my own life took a turn.
I can’t continue the story of my journey to becoming a sexologist without sharing my personal story. In 2016 I was pregnant for the first time when I had a stroke. The stroke caused me to miscarry and left me completely blind in one eye. I was diagnosed with a rare clotting disorder which had also caused multiple pulmonary embolisms. I knew my photography career was going to have to change. Unfortunately the clotting disorder has affected the other eye as well and I risk total blindness if the disease is not controlled. In the years before the stroke I had partnered with a local Sexologist to cross promote. We had a great relationship that led to a friendship. After the stroke she suggested I train to become a sexologist myself since it was something I already had a background in from college and had begun studying it more on my own.
It took me three years to complete my training with a program though due to additional health hurdles. The year after my stroke I was diagnosed with another rare disease. This one was the result of those pulmonary embolisms. While PEs typically will dissolve in time in rare instances (3% of the time) they don’t and that leads to pulmonary Hypertension. So in 2017 I ended up living on oxygen 24/7 while I waited to be evaluated for a lung surgery. Without intervention the disease was terminal and I had less than two years to live. Talk about a distraction. Thankfully in 2018 I traveled out of state to have surgery. Once recovered I was able to continue the program and officially became a certified sexologist in the summer of 2019.
My areas of focus as a sexologist is on the cultural aspects that affect sexuality. This includes things like body image, shame, health, disability religion, Sex Ed, vulnerability, consent…etc. I also study and teach about the relationship between mindfulness and sex. I’m a certified yoga instructor trained in trauma informed accessible yoga and I bring a lot of that into my work as a sexologist. Currently I’m practicing Tantra and will be teaching tantric principles in 2022.
So what is a sexologist and what do they do? Well a sexologist is anyone that studies Sex and what one can do with that varies. It’s important to note that sexologist does not equal a therapist. Although there are many sexologists that are also trained therapists. It looks different for each of us that hold the title of Sexologist. A Sexologist often combines their training with their other passions, purpose, strengths , education to launch careers ranging from therapists, coaches, authors, speakers, educators, entrepreneurs…etc.
I’m a Sex Educator and private Sex Coach. As an instructor I serve as a part of the faculty at the Sexology Institute here in San Antonio . I teach both to the public and to our sex coaching students there at the Institute. I also create and teach content in a variety of other settings…. like online educational platforms, medical facilities, conventions, retreats and private events. One of the things I love to do is work with other boudoir photographers who hire me to present virtual workshops and do Q& A Sessions for their clients.
Since early 2020 I have focused all my work here and haven’t taken a paid photography client in over two years. I miss it immensely and hope to come back when my health allows it. While that 2018 surgery saved my life I was not cured and had already planned to take my photography business on hiatus to have additional lung procedures out of state in early 2020. Unfortunately the pandemic left me in limbo and two years later I’m still waiting for additional lung procedures. I head out next month to have the first of what could be eight procedures over the next several months. Being a sexologist has allowed me to work safely from home all through the pandemic which has been immensely helpful since I have to take extra precautions due to my health. That’s the great thing about this work. As a sexologist I can work virtually and travel as needed for medical care. But most of all I absolutely love it and am so grateful I get to continue to empower people even if it looks different than before.
My 2022 mantra is SHOW UP!!! Thanks Teri Hofford, who inspired my 2022 word(s). The plan is to just just show up. It may not always be easy or pretty but I plan to be around.